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Wer kann mir helfen?

6. Mai 2007 um 9:56

Wer kann mir helfen?
Meine Frau meinte, ich solle mir den folgenden Text übersetzen oder übersetzen lassen, da er von Männern wie mir handeln würde.
Leider sind meine Englich-Kenntnisse nicht besonders und auch alle Bekannten und Arbeitskollegen die ich danach fragte, fingen nur an zu lachen.
Gibt es hier jemanden, der mir den folgenden Text ins deutsche übersetzen kann?

Husband With Small Penis: Dilemma's and Opportunities
by
Selma Marie Johnson
Vol II
Selma Marie Johnson, May 2006
Note: I recommend that women read this article and then decide whether or not to share it with their
husband's or boyfriends. But I think a woman should keep these things to herself and use what she has
read.
Request: Please send any new ideas or things you would like to see added here to me at
selma_m_johnson@yahoo.com. Also if you have any questions, email me and I will try to answer as
best as I can.
1
Introduction
Well lets start out with the good news up front. Hahahaha yes there is good news even if your
husband or partner has a teenie weenie, a tiny tim, a needle dick, a baby crotch, a cigar cock, a 5 inch
worm, a giggle and point to, a toothpick, a small package, hung like a mouse, etc (pick or create your
own term!). And so just what is that good news? For starters, with a little encouragement from yourself,
you can ensure that he will never cheat on you. I mean think about it girls which man in his right mind
is liable to fool around with some two bit floozy when he knows that his little wee wee cannot even
satisfy his own wife? And as if this is not reason enough, how about the fact that once he fully realizes
that his little friend cannot come close to really satisfying you, he is very likely going to make a
much harder effort to please you sexually in other ways. And what is more he is going to thank you
(yes that's right girls) for letting him please you in other ways. In fact believe me when I tell you, you
will be able to get him to do things that he is unwilling to do for you right now, oh think of the
possibilities. So my dear unlucky sisters, do not despair, there is a bright side to having a husband with
a tiny tim, you just have to make sure that you find it and more importantly use it! And by it, I don't
mean his cock (hahaha)!
I have been married now for nearly 22 years. About 15 years ago, I had the rather amusing
realization that my husband, Tom, was lackingin the manhood department. When making love, I
often wished, he would go in deeper or be a little thicker so I would feel him more, but alas it was not
to be. At about 5.5 inches long, and about as thick as 1-2 cigars, he is not exactly hung like a horse,
more like a mouse really. Of course in those days we did not have the wonders of the internet to look
towards, so I played it by ear. I am putting out this document to share with my sisters the world over
how to make the most of an unfortunate situation.
Before I proceed, I would like you to ask yourself one simple question: In all the times you and
your husband have had sex, how many times has he brought you to orgasm using purely his penis?
What I mean is that has he often had to use other means(e.g. Tongue, fingers, hands, toys etc) to help
you achieve orgasm? Think about this question for a bit, and then ask yourself if he had a bigger,
thicker cock (rather than a cockette!) would you have felt the friction needed to produce an earth
shattering orgasm more often? If he had a real dick (as opposed to a dicklet), would you have felt that
lovely soft soreness that women are said to feel after having had sex with a guy who really fills them up
and makes them feel full. A soreness they may feel even a day afterwards. I know I have never had
either of these feeling when fucking Tom's dicklet. If your answers to any of these questions is a
2
negative, then even without measuring your husbands penis you probably realize that its not up to
standard.
Over the years Tom and I have had many discussions on how he handled being poorly
endowed. Based on what I have learnt from him, I will make some generalizations that I believe should
apply to all men with small penises. However I really think that you are the best person to judge as to
what should or should not apply to your husband. Remember that a man's ego is protected by
concentric walls of pride, the more inward, the more ingeniously constructed. Essentially you are
demolishing these walls. The first is down when the man is naked before you in all his glory (or in our
case lack there of), the second when he is aroused by your glance or command or touch or constant
reminder that its not enough for you.
The Beginning
So where to begin? How about the beginning. Let me start out by saying that when I got
married I was not very experienced. Tom was my high school boyfriend about 4 years older than me.
We met at a party when I was a sophomore in school and he a sophomore in college. I ended up going
to the same university that he was attending and completed my B.Ed at the same time that he
completed his M.A in History, we are both teachers now. Six months after our graduation we got
married. So you see Tom has been the only man I have ever been with. Sometimes I wish I had played
the field a little, specially after I realized that he had a small package. I envied (and I think I still do
envy) my friends who can look back on their sex lives and think of all the variety they have enjoyed.
But in other respects I feel so lucky. Tom and I love each other so much, and I would not trade him for
anyone in this world.
The first time I realized that Tom was small was after we had made love and he was headed out
to the bathroom and I saw his limp dick almost hidden in his pubic hair, almost instinctively I giggled,
it seemed so tiny and useless. Actually when you think about it, it was useless. It had brought me an
orgasm a handful of times at most on its own. Usually my orgasms were preceeded by oral sex session,
or long back rubs, or foot sucking (I love having my feet sucked and licked). Not once had just fucked
me and brought me an orgasm. And I kind of missed that. Also the orgasms I did have seemed a bit
anti-climactic, I mean they were nice but I felt a kind of unfullfillment, almost as though I was missing
something. Looking at his tiny soft cock I had an epiphany, how would I be feeling right now if he had
been bigger? I had heard my girlfriends talk of this special soreness after sex, yet I had never
3
experienced it.
Alas, not having the internet to do research on, all I could do was approach my best friend Mary
and discuss the matter with her. I was sure Mary would have the answer largely because she seemed to
be changing lovers almost every month. I won't bore you with details of my discussions with Mary, but
suffice to say, she confirmed my suspicions, Tom was definitely small, no doubt about it. From then on
I became almost obsessed with figuring out how to improve our sex life and how to make Tom realize
that his lack of size was interfering with my pleasure.
The long and short of it is that over time I gradually broached the subject with Tom and got him
to admit that he knew he was small and that he was more than willing to try anything make me orgasm
in other ways. He was remarkably open and frank which allowed me to slowly guide him down a path
that has no doubt improved our sex life immeasurably.
I will skip the details of our discussions and his confessions and proceed straight to the things I
have learnt over the years. I would however recommend that you have discussions and get confessions
out of your husband as well. The key to fixing a problem is to confess that you actually have one.
My Approach
One of things that came out of my discussions with Tom was that he actually felt that his lack of
manhood actually deserved to be teased, laughed at, criticized, and generally made fun of. Of course he
did not say so in so many words, but I was able to read between the lines and was quite confident that
he would not object to my teasing him about his smallness. Also, a little to my own surprise, I found
that I enjoyed and found it natural to make fun of is small package. I believe that ultimately all the
teasing, making fun of, and laughing at his inadequacy did make our marriage and sex life a lot
better.
So now on to the lesson my trainee sisters with small-dicked husbands.
1) Getting the terms correct
Always remember to correct him if he refers to his package as being smaller, smallish, or on the
small size. Correct him and simply say that its neither of those, but rather its SMALL and he
should referring to it by any other term, unless its something like tiny.
4
2) Find opportunities to make fun of his package.
Some suggestions:
a) Point to it and laugh, when he comes out of the shower and its shrunk to its smallest size
b)Give it some kind of name that constantly reminds you and him of how small he is even
when erect
c)When holding it in your hand (regardless of whether its hard or soft) wonder out loud
what a full-sized penis would feel like. You might want to mention that his is unfortunately
quite useless in pleasuring you
d)You should get the idea by now. Be inventive and you will surprise yourself.
e) Visit http://cgi.slygreetings.com/page.pl?page=76&auth= and use this tool often! I think
you will find it amusing. I would recommend sending it to him 2-3 times a week for the
next few months and asking him to certify that he has done the task, by emailing you after
he has. (WARNING: THIS LINK SHOULD PROBABLY NOT BE OPENED AT WORK)
f) When having sex, find ways to ask him to go deeper. Actually there are times when I am
so aroused from all his oral attention that he simply slips into me, at those times I really
wish he were bigger and I almost always ask him is it in? followed by a sigh when he
says Yes. Let him know later on that you barely felt him.
g) If for any reason you are to be separated for an extended period of time, say things like I
miss your tongue, or can't wait to have you use the dildo on me in your communications
with him. Try not to refer to his penis except when you would like to remind him of his
smallness.
3) No sympathy, usually disgust or apathy. This is a must to making him a better lover in other
ways. You will probably find that after his (usual?) inept love making or at any other time when
you are making fun of or criticizing or making fun of his small manhood, he may apologize or
attempt to make excuses. DO NOT accept these. DO NOT offer sympathy. I have learnt that the
best thing to do is to either show disgust or apathy. You should also consider saying something
like You owe me for being so small and not satisfying me. If my experience is anything to go
by, this sentence alone will probably get more sexual action out of him than anything else
might.
4) Regular Reminders. In addition to the link I have told you about above, I think you should
send him regular email, preferably in your voice (record a message of humor relating to his lack
5
of size) and attach it to the email mails referring to him by his new small manhood nickname
that you have thought of. Isn't the internet and technology wonderful? You can record a message in
your voice on to your computer and attach it to an email and send out to your husband.
5) Use of Dildos: Girls make the dildo your best friend. Unless you plan on going out and sleeping
around with other, better endowed men, a bigger dildo than your husband is a toy from heaven.
For Tom and myself now, its come to a point that he usually ... me with a strap on dildo, and
about 1-2 times in every 10 or so gets to do me with his cock. The amazing thing is that he
actually thanks me for letting him bring me to orgasm with his tongue and/or the strap on!
My orgasms feel heavenly when done with the dildo, its quite amazing. Another
recommendation is that the first time after he uses the dildo on you, do remark on how much
different, and better that felt. And how your orgasm was amazing.
(WORD OF WARNING: If you are planning on using a dildo, use it yourself a few times to get
used to it. Then have him use it on you in lieu of his itty bitty!)
6) Condom Shopping : When you go condom shopping, almost always make a beeline for the
magnum sized ones, look at them with longing and maybe say something to your husband about
wondering what the lucky women who used these sizes felt like when getting fucked. Then give
him a look of pity and disgust when selecting ones for him.
7) Underwear: I must admit this was not my idea. It came to me from another woman with whom
I was communicating with. She mentioned that once she realized that her husband was smaller
than average size, she wondered why he should wear male underwear. So she got rid of most of
his underwear and replaced it with feminine panties. Actually I found that idea to be rather
funny and at times Tom does wear feminine underwear when we go out together but I don't
require that he wear it always, only when the mood strikes me.
8) Measurement: Ceremoniously measure his cockette when fully erect. If he like any man small
endowed man, I can guarantee with almost 100% certainty that he would have over stated his
size by a significant amount perhaps as much as an inch or more. If he turns out to be smaller
than he has told you, you have one more thing to make fun of and to remind him of his shortcomings.
6
Also try to compare his size to the average size of about 6.5 inches or so.
9) Sharing: I must say one of my better ideas. Start dropping hints that you have discussed his
lack of size and staying power (men with small cocks generally also have control issues), with a
friend of yours. Of course you don't actually have to do it, just as long as he thinks you have.
Another great opportunity for you to remind him that he is small, particularly if in the same
breath you tell him that your friends husband/bf is huge and that you envy her when she
described how full she felt when he fucked her and how she could still feel him in her for hours
after.
This is best done if the friend in question is someone you meet regularly that way whenever he sees her
it will remind him, also in her every laugh or mention of the word small he will wonder if she is
laughing at his smallness! A very useful tool I have discovered.
10)Unmanhood. Another idea from a friend that I happen to agree with. If your husband happens
to be below average in size, is he a real sexual man? Good question, and my answer is I don't
think so. Particularly since he can't really bring you to orgasm with his penis alone and will
need help from his tongue, or toys. But that does not mean that he cannot still be a great lover.
By making him focus on pleasuring you in other ways you can make him the best lover in the
world. In fact a few of my friends with husbands who are well-endowed have often complained
that they are too focussed on cock fucking and not enough on slow foreplay and oral sex. There
are times when they actually envy me for having a husband who will suck my feet, lick my ass
and cunt and do long foreplay before finally fucking me.
All the above steps will keep reinforcing a very important message. That you need more than
his small cock to be sexually satisfied. I should also point out that just because you are constantly
reminding him and making fun of his lack of manhood, it does not mean that he should be a wimp.
Expect your man to be manly. His recognition of his lack of size a is fundamental to his nature, a kind
of weakness built into him, perhaps, but one in an case specific to his relation to women. If it were
anything shallower and more general than that, a flaw in his development, an impairment of his social
character, its expression in relation to you would be of no importance and he would not be worth
enthralling. He would be weak from fear, not from instinctive desire, and he would be a sexual dullard.
7
I expect Tom to be confident and successful. And he is. Inside the bedroom he is a good lover who
does not let his lack of size interfere with my pleasure. He does anything it takes to pleasure me and
loves me for letting him do so, and I love him for being so caring and focussed on my pleasure. By
constantly reminding him of his smalleness I have made him a better lover and a better husband both in
and out of the bedroom. Tom is a very successful teacher and business. He has won awards from his
students and the school. In addition about 10 years ago he started his own tutoring business that he is
no franchising across the country. So there is no reason why his lack of size should hold him back. I
believe that by making him accept reality about his short comings he became a better lover, husband,
and individual and professional.

6. Mai 2007 um 10:20

Und erst recht nicht,
wenn der originaltext dermaßen mit zeilenumbrüchen vollgestolpert ist, dass man ihn kaum lesen kann, selbst wenn man will ...

Ich mag

6. Mai 2007 um 10:27
In response to cefeu

Und erst recht nicht,
wenn der originaltext dermaßen mit zeilenumbrüchen vollgestolpert ist, dass man ihn kaum lesen kann, selbst wenn man will ...

Irgendjemand
muß es doch lesen können. Möchte wissen was meine Frau meinte.

Ich mag

6. Mai 2007 um 10:40
In response to cefeu

Und erst recht nicht,
wenn der originaltext dermaßen mit zeilenumbrüchen vollgestolpert ist, dass man ihn kaum lesen kann, selbst wenn man will ...

....
Browser breiter ziehen?

Ich mag

6. Mai 2007 um 10:55
In response to verykomisch

....
Browser breiter ziehen?

Hab leider
nur einen "kleinen" laptop-bildschirm, der geht nicht breiter als 1024 ...

Ich mag

6. Mai 2007 um 10:59

*autsch*
Das tut mir ja beim Lesen weh

How to krieg ich meinen Mann so klein, daß er ALLES für mich tut und nur mir Zufriedenheit schenkt ...

Und das hat Deine Frau Dir gegeben?
Schuldeingeständnis oder was soll das sein?

Ich mag

6. Mai 2007 um 11:06
In response to verykomisch

*autsch*
Das tut mir ja beim Lesen weh

How to krieg ich meinen Mann so klein, daß er ALLES für mich tut und nur mir Zufriedenheit schenkt ...

Und das hat Deine Frau Dir gegeben?
Schuldeingeständnis oder was soll das sein?

Was steht da?
Alles hätte ich gedacht, aber nicht sowas. Bitte übersetzt mir noch etwas. Ich glaubs nicht.

Ich mag

6. Mai 2007 um 11:10
In response to 6cobra

Was steht da?
Alles hätte ich gedacht, aber nicht sowas. Bitte übersetzt mir noch etwas. Ich glaubs nicht.

Frei übersetzt:
Die Frau in dem Text findet keine Befriedigung beim Sex mit ihrem Mann, weil er einen zu kleinen cock (Penis) hat.
Also versucht sie sich ihre Befriedigung anders zu finden. Sie macht sich lustig über ihn, kauft sich einen Dildo, der auf jeden Fall größer ist als sein cock, macht ihn ständig darauf aufmerksam wie klein er doch gebaut ist usw.
Er versucht es auszugleichen mit Hand, Zunge etc.
Aber sie ist nieeee zufrieden.

Und am Ende tut er alles für sie, um sie zufrieden zu stellen.

Wie es ihm dabei geht, steht da allerdings nicht ...

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 11:51
In response to 6cobra

Irgendjemand
muß es doch lesen können. Möchte wissen was meine Frau meinte.

Wer kanns
übersetzen?

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 12:58
In response to 6cobra

Wer kanns
übersetzen?

Wort für Wort?
Den ganzen Text?

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 13:02
In response to verykomisch

Frei übersetzt:
Die Frau in dem Text findet keine Befriedigung beim Sex mit ihrem Mann, weil er einen zu kleinen cock (Penis) hat.
Also versucht sie sich ihre Befriedigung anders zu finden. Sie macht sich lustig über ihn, kauft sich einen Dildo, der auf jeden Fall größer ist als sein cock, macht ihn ständig darauf aufmerksam wie klein er doch gebaut ist usw.
Er versucht es auszugleichen mit Hand, Zunge etc.
Aber sie ist nieeee zufrieden.

Und am Ende tut er alles für sie, um sie zufrieden zu stellen.

Wie es ihm dabei geht, steht da allerdings nicht ...

.
auch wenn er sich auf den kopf stellt... sein schwanz wird dadurch auch nicht größer!

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 13:17
In response to einekleinefrau

.
auch wenn er sich auf den kopf stellt... sein schwanz wird dadurch auch nicht größer!

Ist die Größe des Schwanzens denn wichtig,
wenn ich alleine durch die Anwesenheit des Körpers eine sexuelle Anziehung empfinde?
Weibliche Erregung kommt vom Kopf, nicht von der Mechanik ...

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 13:18

Ohje...
naja das hier wort für wort zu übersetzen ist ein bisschen schwierig..aber
im großen und ganzen steht da drin, das der Kerl nen zu kleinen schwanz hat und seine Frau nicht befriedigen kann... sie sagt ihm immer und immer wieder wie scheiße er im Bett ist wegen seinem zu kleinen... dadurch dass sie ihm das ständig um die Ohren knallt, wie Scheiße er im Bett ist, gibt er sich immer mehr mühe...und wird so zu einem besseren Liebhaber... fragt sich nur was deine frau dir damit sagen will.

lg
princessa

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 13:22

Ich mach das
Ich übersetze dir den ganzen Text, hab etwas geduld. Ist für mich eine gute Übung für meine Englisch prüfung.
Vorweg möchte ich dir aber sagen dass er dich höchstwahrscheinlich sehr verletzen wird. Möchtest du das Risiko eingehen? Glaub mir, das wird danach bestimmt keine schöne Zeit werden...

LG
Melli

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 13:34
In response to sahbiene

Ist die Größe des Schwanzens denn wichtig,
wenn ich alleine durch die Anwesenheit des Körpers eine sexuelle Anziehung empfinde?
Weibliche Erregung kommt vom Kopf, nicht von der Mechanik ...

.
dann ist es vielleicht hilfreich wenn er währenddessen viel redet, so dass sie gedanklich abgelenkt ist... von der größe

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 13:59
In response to einekleinefrau

.
dann ist es vielleicht hilfreich wenn er währenddessen viel redet, so dass sie gedanklich abgelenkt ist... von der größe

LOL
Nein, so doch nicht
Du, es ist der Schwanz von IHM!
Der ist schön und gut und auch groß genug.

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 15:43

Also ähm..
ich bin jetzt ca. bei der Hälfte des Textes und ich finde diese Frau ist Krank, aber mal so richtig. Und der Kerl auch, wenn der sich DAS hat gefallen lassen, ohne sie umgehend standrechtlich zu erschießen. Hammer...

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 15:44
In response to mellipapilio

Ich mach das
Ich übersetze dir den ganzen Text, hab etwas geduld. Ist für mich eine gute Übung für meine Englisch prüfung.
Vorweg möchte ich dir aber sagen dass er dich höchstwahrscheinlich sehr verletzen wird. Möchtest du das Risiko eingehen? Glaub mir, das wird danach bestimmt keine schöne Zeit werden...

LG
Melli

Ich muß es wissen
und wäre dir sehr dankbar dafür

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 15:47
In response to mellipapilio

Also ähm..
ich bin jetzt ca. bei der Hälfte des Textes und ich finde diese Frau ist Krank, aber mal so richtig. Und der Kerl auch, wenn der sich DAS hat gefallen lassen, ohne sie umgehend standrechtlich zu erschießen. Hammer...

Das...
finde ich auch, abe sie sagt auch im letzten absatz dass si ediesen mann nie verlassen würde...
aber es ist schon der Hammer was diese Frau da treibt...
Mann sollte ihr mal sagen dass sie wohl selbst nicht ganz frisch tickt!
sorry aber ich finds heftig

princessa

Ich mag

7. Mai 2007 um 15:56
In response to 6cobra

Ich muß es wissen
und wäre dir sehr dankbar dafür

Ist kein Ding
wie gesagt, für mich ist das eine gute Übung.
Ausser dass ich mich gerade tierisch über diese Frau aufrege, aber ich hoffe ich bin in einer Stunde fertig.

Ich mag

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